Yellow- the color of our carpet that I played on
Green was the color of the grass that wore away
White was the generic cans when money was tight
Black- the color of my grandma's resting place
Orange was the juice I drank getting ready for school
Red- my face that day in the lunchroom
Purple was my ankle when my dreams died
Blue was how I felt when she walked out the door
I really like the idea of colors here! My favorites are the green grass (I can imagine it wearing away as I read), White (I can also see these cans, as I too know what that's like). I like the purple, were you an athlete, on scholarship perhaps? <--that's what I inferred from it.
ReplyDeleteQuestion: You have a dash (-) after 3 of the colors, but not all. Why is that? Also, how did you pick the order of the colors? Neither question is meant as a critique, but simply as inquiries. :)
asha.
I also like the idea of colors in this poem. It reminded me of Donovan's song "Colours". It's an interesting theme because we use colors in such an embedded way in our language like saying someone was "green with envy" but we don't really think of it literally so I liked that. I think it would be cool if you added more to each line, maybe analyzing the significance of identifying the color in the first line. I picture it as kind of a rainbow of events, all connected and making up the whole of the person's life, so I would be interested to see some expansion on those events.
ReplyDeleteHi Jamie,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this poem. I think that it brings back a lot of evocative images. I really like the white line. I really like how you organized it around colors.
I am curious about the structure. I think that it might be helpful if there were line breaks, that way it would be easier to read/understand. I could also use some more detail especially in lines blue and red.