Speech Flavor--
"Good afternoon, sweetheart. Are you ready for some supper? Just sit yourself down on the davenport. You're soaking wet. Didn't you bring a parasol? For heaven's sakes!"
Not Quite a Fight--
"I didn't like that Jew joke," Tim's father mumbled between bites of his barbecue sandwich. "That was overboard."
"You just didn't like it because you don't like Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin, Dad." Tim dipped a fry in the ketchup on his father's plate. They got together once a month for dinner before a game.
"No, that's not it. Did you see Ethan Cohen's reaction? The camera panned to him, and he didn't like it. You could tell. He's Jewish you know."
"Why did it bother you? Everyone in the crowd was laughing."
"Not Ethan Cohen. He didn't think it was funny. I bet Jews didn't think it was funny. You don't use a joke about a Nazi hunter looking for Jews. That's sensitive. Especially in Hollywood."
"I don't know, Dad. I guess we can agree to disagree. I don't think it was meant in bad taste."
"Well if we can make jokes like that, why can't we make jokes about black people?"
Tim's father seemed to come back to this often.
"Whenever somebody tells a black joke, everyone is up in arms. Especially the black leaders. Jesse Jackson or Al Sharpton would probably be ranting and raving on CNN the next day!"
"I think that's different. I guess it depends on the joke. But aren't a lot of black jokes based on negative stereotypes? The joke at the Oscars was stereotyping Jewish people, it was stereotyping Hollywood."
"Tim, you don't get it." Tim's father leaned forward and stopped chewing. He wiped his lips with a napkin, which he rarely did. "I have friends who are Jews. I sympathize with the Jews. You don't make jokes about the Holocaust. What if they said something about blacks being on welfare or being better slaves than actors? It's a double standard."
"Dad, those are two totally different things." He patted his father on the arm, knowing full well he'd heard his father tell Jew jokes in the past. He wasn't sure if his father wanted to ignore that, or if he had just forgotten. "Let's agree to disagree."
"I'm taking you home." Tim's father deadpanned. "You and your sister don't respect me. And it pisses me off. I'd never talk to my father the way you and Mindy talk to me."
Final Assignment
13 years ago
This is a very interesting "not quite a fight." It tells some interesting things about your characters. I like the details about eating - the ketchup and the napkin - they really add to your characters. Also, the short sentences and the word choice feel real when reading them.
ReplyDeleteIf you decide to do more with this piece, I would think about the father character. Is he really offended? Is the child right in thinking the father makes jokes, too? Why does he side with Ethan Cohen? I would like to see more of a build to that last line - showing that the father is reaching that point.
This is a well written piece, I like the dialogue!
I think you have created a really good sense of the father character. Both he and the son have a clear voice in the story and both are quite believable. Your skill with dialogue is very strong.
ReplyDeleteI disagree with Sarah and think the father's lost patience and insistence on going home comes just at the right time. The son is obviously trying to avoid this type of reaction with his continuous plea to "agree to disagree." And the father seems to be picking a fight. When the son won't engage, it seems the father loses patience and calls it quits. I like the suddenness.
What I am missing, and would like to see further developed, is the reason behind the father's allegiance to Jewish people. He seems overly offended by the joke, and explains to his son that he "sympathizes with the Jews." I wonder why. And I wonder why his son doesn't know this already. The son is avoiding conversation to the point that I wonder if there is some problem with the father (dementia?).
I definitely want to read more and am truly interested in the characters.
I agree with our classmates that I'd like to read more. For starters, your story has a fun point of reference, seeing as how I watched this year's Oscars. Question: would it make as much sense (or less or more, in a good way or a bad way) if people didn't know the reference?
ReplyDeleteI really want the dad to be eating a barbequed pork sandwich, just to subtly imply his contrary nature. Also, until the end of the piece, I thought it was a full grown son arguing with his father, but then it suddenly seems like a divorced dad taking his teenager to a baseball game.
In addition, I want more examples. Without your being afraid to post anything too racist on the internet for all to see and misconstrue, I want to know by a short anecdote what sorts of stereotypical jokes the father has made in the past. We all know hypocrites well, including ourselves, but dig deeply to show us exactly what kind.
Oh, and the Coen brothers never seem to smile at anything. Their genius is working to hard to have any fun.
"to" instead of "too?" Urgh
ReplyDeleteTo many days going two school attempting too teach teenagers.
So tired, I feel I must explain my joke.
I will refrain.
I really like your not quite a fight dialog. The little pieces you add in, like dad wiping his lips with a napkin, really create the scene for me. Also, I get a very clear picture of a cranky dad and a son trying to argue, teach, and tolerate. I really like what you have done here.
ReplyDelete